What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

There is any scientific evidence that we live in a sphere. Why do others say that we lives in a flat Earth but there is no evidence that they have proven the existence of a flat earth?

What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What would you do if you found out that someone had broken into your home while you were sleeping?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Who was the guy that had sex with the AIDS monkey?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What does it mean if I had a dream about my mom who passed 12 years ago waking up from her coma and asking for my dad? I have never had a dreams about her since she has been gone.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”